Tumblin’
Work reminded me of valentines day today. And that I have no one to spend it with. Kind of brought me down. :/
α : One
Adrenaline rushed through my veins like morphine through the sick. Only it was accelerating my senses rather than dulling them. I could hear the gunshots. One rang out, then two, three. Distorting the calm of the night. I knew I hadn’t been hit though, I would have fallen for sure. No, I was simply feeling fatigue from all of this running, perhaps if I could just stop for a moment. I collapsed onto the ground. All at once my senses washed back over my consciousness. No pain, just knowing. Knowing that these blotches of black were permanently gone from my vision. Knowing that my life was drifting away. The concrete looked beautiful from this angle, glistening in the soft light from the moon. I held on for just a moment longer, but the night faded and I was left with nothing.
Thinking back to it now, it was a peculiar end. No memory lapses, or happy thoughts. Even heaven and hell managed to evade my thoughts, or perhaps I simply do not recall the moment when I found myself treading on such ideas as that.
White light flooded my vision. Perhaps this was time for judgement, my time to reconcile my past mistakes and face the divine blessing of the lord. However, the light fixtures on the ceiling soon became sharp enough to discern from the holy light and I realized that it was, in fact, a hospital I was in. I tired to move my body parts one by one. My arms came first, right then left. The right was unresponsive, and the left replied with little more than a twitch. The rest of my body followed suite and alas I realized that dying may have been the better option. However, I still felt not an ounce of pain, something which I was grateful for.
The next month was a blur. I was slowly weened off of the medicine and the machines, working towards being physically stable again. My left arm would never function properly again, the nerves were severed indefinitely, and I would forever have 6 bullet holes etched into my skin. Physical therapy was tiring and I found myself sleeping more than I was awake.
I was out before I could bat an eye.
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~Heart
